From January to May

Hey yo, I am back. What is the last time I blogged? Erm....January!!! It has been a long time since I said "hi" to my family.

I was not kidnapped by aliens

First and foremost, Shu Yuan, I was not kidnapped by aliens. It was my own laptop who kidnapped me, poor me. No wonder mummies hate computer because we kids too addicted to it. By the way, I read your story about Lee Ngoh and Wei Seen and more, wow, totally fascinating. How can your English be that good? If I am the author, I think the story will be no more than boring.

First time+second time karaoke

1st May 2011, it was my first time singing with a microphone(unless you count in the primary school performance) in karaoke. I went with Shu En and Ming Thing. It was quite fun and the service in Da Zui Ba is good. The main point is after singing, my voice was raucous like Donald Duck and the stomach was filled with air, I felt like I was going to vomit. Gosh...The second time was with Lim Hui, Wei Seen and Ming Thing. It was almost the same like last time but they said sometimes my voice will lead them until out of tune. Am I that terrible?? Haha.

Teaching Sejarah??!!

I started teaching Form 4 Sejarah when Mr.Auw, my previous tuition teacher knew that I postponed my intake to University of Nottingham in July. He asked me to do him a favour because he is not familiar with the syllabus and a teacher who agreed to teach left for another job. I never imagine or dream that one day I will be a teacher, even as a part time job because I really not interested in teaching. After interacted with my students about a month, I could see my old-self in them. Feel bored about the Islamic stuff and difficult names. But what can do, as a teacher, I feel sleepy also. Haha. One thing to glad is most of the students tried their best to pay attention in class and jotted down what I said, while some gave me a 'blur blur' look. Never mind, I understood as I experienced it before.

Bye Bye to my friends

Everyone is leaving...Sob sob. Cheng Yi and Ying Xun went to matrikulasi in Pahang and Kedah respectively. Hui Jun are coming back from taylors after the holiday but going to Universiti Tenaga Nasional in June. Most of all, she got a golden opportunity to go to america through JPA scholarship, wow! Congratz to her! She is really lucky. Shu Yuan is going to MMU for diploma in Electrical Engineering. Lim Hui, Wei Seen, Lee Ngoh and Ming Thing are recently studying form 6 in SMKPJ. Lee Ngoh got an offer from Maktab Penguruan in Sarawak and she is still considering... Anyway, all the best for all of you, whether you are leaving or staying, as long as you made the choice, as long as it is what you desired, just follow your heart and never regret!!!

JPA scholarship...GONE

Two months earlier, I received my SPM result with a joyful heart. Actually that day I felt sick as I caught cold, but still want to take my result myself. It was really unexpected that my result will turn out as whole A+, it acted as a booster to me. By hoping to get JPA scholarship and made my way towards overseas countries, I went through all the procedures for it. But the outcome was a total reverse, smashing and squashing my hopes and dreams(too exaggerated, used it to finish my sentence only). At first I didn't feel disappointment, but knowing that Hui Jun got scholarship to america the next day, it saddens me(I didn't mean anything, Hui Jun really deserved the scholarship). Why can't I get the same treatment? This was what I thought at that morning. The sun shone brightly outside my house in Malaysia which lies on equator, inside my heart, it was just like winter. I felt disappointment, once more. This is life. Sometimes luck decided everything.

What am I going to do in future

I am going to University of Nottingham in July for Foundation in Engineering. I will be very busy since then. But no worry, I won't forget any of you. I miss the days I had with all of you, because now it seems so impossible. The jokes, the laughters and the memory, I will bring it all together with me as I move on to a new chapter in my life. Hope 4 or 5 years later, all of us will be able to gather together and talk about our old times. Last but not least, you all will say "all the best" to me also, right?

Cheatah

It rained heavily but she insisted to go for her weekly Book Club meetings. He didn't care. He didn't want her anymore. Annoyingly, she kissed his cheek before she left. He didn't like the mushy wet feeling it left behind for a long time.

It had been a long and tiring week. He had met up with his lost love from high school and all the memories hit him hard. He was in love again. He had loved her for the past 17 years of his marriage life. He wanted her again. He had always wanted her. She was newly widowed and had no children. He had a 15 year old son and a wife that cared more about pathetic books and homeless dogs than him. He tried to divorce his wife, yet couldn't bring himself to tell her.

His wife, Marie was a soft cookie. She crumbed easily and had tears ready at the edge of her sad eyes. He couldn't hurt her. She had done nothing wrong but loving him-even thought he never loved her. He decided to just leave. In that case, there was no need to see her cry. No need to feel responsible for her sadness and melancholy.

He grabbed his well-packed luggage and started the car. He was going to somewhere far far away. He didn't care where, as long as he had his beloved. Halfway through, his phone rings.
'Dad, em' in little trouble.' It was his son, Joel.
'Listening son. But, you better call your mother. I'm busy now. And changing my number very soon.'
' Don't think she'd help me. I videoed my moral teacher doing some very 'innocent' acts with a hot auntie.'
'Its all over YouTube now?'
'Yes.'
'My teacher's threatening to throw me outta school. '
'Call your mother.' He wanted to slam the phone down and continue his journey when his son started crying.
'It's not the first time I did something like this. (More tears) I videoed uncle Ben with mom...that was the first time.'
'When was that? '
' Last Friday.'
' And it happens every Friday when she goes for her Book Club?'
'Yes.'
'How long has it been happening?'
'Since the day she joined the Book Club.'
'How do you know?'
'I saw her high school magazine. They were voted the sweetest couple.'
' Then, it must have happened before the book club.'

He slammed his brakes. He didn't need to feel guilty after all. Maybe Joel could call Ben instead.

The Promise

THIS IS FOR WEI SEEN.

She couldn't keep her promise. She broke it all. She broke the promise she made to herself, to her friends, to him. She held the violet roses tightly in her hands until a thorn pricked her finger. Even the rose was hurting her, she thought. Blood dripped from the wound, flowing down with friction brushing her skin. She refused to move. Still. After all those years.

She thought about many things. Memories that simply flooded into her mind, drowning her. The time they first meet, the time they fought, the time they promised each other.

They went to the same high school. Sat next to each other. Shared the same interest in Korean entertainment. He was everything she needed. He knew her better than she knew herself. She remembered the times he held her when her family could not understand her, when no one had hope in her. He was her best friend.

All their friends kept taunting them, telling friendly teachers they were a couple, an item. Of course, it was all not true. He was only her best friend. They never understood their relationship. Sometimes, they simply gawked at her. At them.

One day, he hastily asked her to promise him something. He told her he had to leave. He wanted her to forget about him. He wanted her to never think about him. She promised him. She actually promised him. She knelled down and saw him lying there. So cold, so pale, so death. She flinched at the thought of it. So death. She gently lay the flowers next to him, tears spilling uncontrollably.

Across the field, a group of Messi-forever football fans stopped in their tracks. Football didn't appeal to them anymore. The girl in front did. She was kneeling in front of a doll, crying big fat tears of sorrow. It was just a doll. A normal looking doll. A doll next to a bouquet of violet roses. What they couldn't see from far was a full bottle of psychiatric medicine, lying protectively in her pocket. What they didn't know was she ran away from the mental hospital, never consuming any medicine given. What they were about to know was she killed a boy named Mark, whose eyes were deep violet like the roses she stole from the florist.

She is all over me(Burning my secrets)

The seconds ticked by as beads of sweat covered his forehead. Lee Ngoh stared into emptiness, losing hope in love.

*********

Claire lost her patience. She held the silver knife harder, unaware it was already cutting her flesh. The determination in her eyes showed anguish, hatred and animosity. She charged. Claire knocked Lee Ngoh down who was still in a daze. The sharp knife cut through his flesh, opening a path for warm vermilion liquid which gushed out. Lee Ngoh moaned, throwing back his head, tears running uncontrollably down his face. He saw a glimpse of light, a glimpse of Heaven, and nothing. A big black hole into nothingness.

'Lee Ngoh, Lee Ngoh, bro please!'

Lee Ngoh opened his eyes to see his sister Wei Seen with a very angry expression on her face.

' This has to be the most embarrassing day of my life!' Wei Seen frowned like a ninety year old old lady. Lee Ngoh first felt the moisture then saw what he had caused.

' How can a 30 year old man wet his pants? This is unbelievable. You are unbelievable!' Wei Seen commented. ' The nurses had a good laugh!' Prior to that, Lee Ngoh heard giggling at the back. ' Now that you are awake, the police wants you to start counting bars. Kidding, give your testimony.'

Lee Ngoh never thought recalling memories could be this painful. He felt excruciating pain in his chest where it had nothing to do with his wounds. It had to be his heart.

'I wanted to know why she did something like that to me. First, I was confused. I wanted her to tell me it was all my sister's fault. Of course, the fault was hers. She was angry, said I was disturbing her wedding. She tried to stab me with this really tiny knife. I fought back. And it happened quickly. I stabbed her. She was bleeding and cursing and I panicked. I untied my sister and we tried to get her medical help. And she just disappeared from the spot I left her. We ran out of the mansion to look for her. I called the police and fainted when someone hit me real hard on the head. My sister blacked out too. And I'm here now. '

*******

She was hiding under the stairs, thinking we, no I wouldn't find her. I saw her but kept it a secret. When we were outside and Ngoh said he would call the police, I knew I had little time. I hit my brother's head with a rock before running back to the mansion. I told her I wanted to live with only her. Dying together was such a beautiful opinion. We reached the top floor and promised to jump down together. After the count of three, she jumped alone because jumping with her was never my intention. Now that she is dead, no one would never know our affair together, how I used her to get money, and how she threatened me when I spurned her after getting tired of her. I'm burning the diary I wrote about how I stalked and killed her, so no one would ever know my secret. Right?

THE END

She is all over me(Will you be my bride?)

Lee Ngoh sneezed a few times, much to his dismay as he wanted to remain quiet. He couldn't help it. The mansion was dusty with cobwebs and rats, running at corners, creating shadows. The large hall had furniture covered in large pieces of white cloth, a few leftover portraits hangs crookedly on the edge of falling. His heart skips a beat to see his own reflection in a broken mirror. He looked-torn. Lee Ngoh reached the base of the winding stairs that lead to the first floor. His heart beats furiously when he sees a glimpse of weak light. He sees hope and Claire. He sees his sister. He feels simply cold.

At the top, the light comes from a small room whose door is solid oak wood. Lee Ngoh stops right in front of the door, hearing voices.

' How can you do this to him? He trusted you so much! He has always wanted to get married, have kids, you know, the normal thing. This is truly wrong. Please, just let me go. '

' I can't let you go. Not until...' It became a whisper.

Lee Ngoh couldn't make out the voices. He didn't know who was Claire, who was his sister. He squinted his eyes and saw a woman in a wedding gown tied up on a rocking chair. He couldn't make out the face in the dark. He knew it had to be Claire. She was kidnapped in her wedding gown. He barged in.

What he saw sent his nerves tingling as confusion engulfed the rest of his soul. Tied on the rocking chair was his sister. His sister in a pink wedding gown, not white like the one Claire wore. 'It's a good thing we have someone related to participate in our wedding Honey.' Lee Ngoh's blood curdled to recognize the voice of his bride, now high-pitched. He turned to see Claire in a blood stained wedding gown. 'Oh, don't worry about me getting this gown bloodied. It was your sister's job, she put up quite a fight. All the scratching and biting like a feline. Sexy.' Claire laughed mockingly.

Lee Ngoh's head swirled with more confusion.' I don't understand. We could have a grand wedding in the church today. Why do you want to have our wedding in a lonely dirty place like this?' Lee Ngoh glared at Wei Seen accusingly before looking at Claire in a soft baby look. 'I understand everything now. Wei Seen kidnapped you and brought you here so she could stop the wedding. Wei Seen wore a bridesmaid's gown so she could trick you. Somehow you fought back and tied her up instead. I'm so glad you are safe Claire.' Lee Ngoh moved to embrace Claire but was rudely pushed back by her.

' You don't understand anything!' Claire screamed. ' Sad to say, but I never loved you Lee Ngoh. This wedding is between me and Wei Seen, you're the guest. I went out with you just for your money! Haven't you heard about my previous failed relationships? They didn't fail Lee Ngoh, they just died. And I killed them. Do you think I would actually fall for you? Look into the mirror!' Claire stopped to catch her breath. ' But, I realised after all that, I finally found true love. In your sister. I have never felt like this for anyone. I love her, and we are getting married tonight. Bless us Lee Ngoh! ' She smiled, showing pearl white teeth.

Lee Ngoh felt sick. A strong emotion exploded inside him-a mixture of agony and anger , pulsing through his veins. Then, all spirit left his body, he felt afraid. 'You like my sister? You are a woman Claire!'